As exciting as it is to start a new relationship, the transition to a couple can be challenging. Elite Singles chimed in with psychotherapist and relationship expert Louisa Niehaus on. How to be in a relationship and transition from single to married in a healthy way. Here she also talks about keeping her individuality, but also embracing her new status as a couple. This is what he has to say…
I am fascinated with the concept of love and my wish is that you can keep. The spark so bubbly for as long as possible. Keeping this glow up means addressing some very practical things about being in a relationship. Making the transition from single to a couple requires being. Aware of your own needs and requirements in a relationship. Overlooking or making assumptions in a new relationship. Can lead to disappointment and misunderstanding early in the relationship.
A New Relationship
Dizziness from new love often means conventional wisdom flies out the window. This flouting of couple convention is a necessary part of love. As it means you’re more likely to overlook things in the early stages of a relationship, allowing you to get on with the important business of falling in love.
Knowing your needs can prevent misunderstandings in a new relationship. In the heady romance of new love, we expect the other to magically know. What our needs or requirements are around practical things like frequency of communication, availability, finances, or even food. Being aware of what makes you feel comfortable can go a long way in avoiding future misunderstandings.
Talking about these topics may seem awkward at first, but if you both want to be in a relationship, broaching these topics is healthy and worthwhile. If you’ve been single and self-sufficient for some time, accommodating a partner in your life can be challenging. It’s hard for independent personalities to accept help, and it can be frustrating for a couple who would like to get more involved.
Similarly, it can be a challenge for someone who has come out of a long-term relationship and is used to a different set of commitments and routines. These expectations, which have the potential to turn into assumptions, are often the unseen challenge in the healthy transition from singles to couples, when we’re still figuring out how to be in a relationship! YourChristianDate
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The transition from single to couple can mean less personal time and space. Accommodating a new partner means that some things change to incorporate your partner. Those weekends lazing on the couch watching sports or a series in old pyjamas may require buying new pyjamas and finding movies to watch that you both like. Local takeout could magically transform into gourmet meal prep from scratch.
Sharing a bed with your new partner could affect your concentration levels at work, as well as your sleeping patterns. The cosy comforts of solitude, like scattered socks and leaving dishes until morning, should give way to picking up socks, not wearing a mask to bed, and tidying up after dinner. The initial phases of the couple are characterised because we want to present ourselves in the best way. This can be exhausting!
The following are common areas of transition that can help both of you maintain a healthy relationship and work together to have a relationship that is best for both of you.
Couples frequently use text messages and phone calls to keep in touch. Someone who requires regular communication may perceive their partner to be uninterested or distant if they don’t communicate as often. A colleague who is not a frequent communicator may feel pressured to respond in an unfamiliar way. It helps to know the intensity of a colleague’s work or family schedule and what level of communication works for both of you.
These can include things like food, birthdays, holidays, religious or traditional celebrations. Both of you may create new ways to accommodate important events in your lives. Birthdays and other important events have the potential to create your unique celebrations as a couple. Food is a beautiful way to transition your relationship. The ritual around meals can become a shared delight. Even if one of you likes to make healthy meals from scratch and the other likes takeout, food has the potential to be a new and shared interest.
Keep your friendships. These represent your independence and are what mould and expand you. Maintaining your friendships allows for a healthy space where you can miss and appreciate each other and reconnect with the newness between you. And it’s good for a couple to have separate spaces and social support away from the relationship itself.
Be honest about this, define your financial relationship as a couple. If one of you will be moving in with the other, or both of you will be moving into a new shared space, discuss financial contributions and who will be responsible for what. Defining this up front means there is less ambiguity and this clarity will allow both of you to set boundaries and responsibilities. Not addressing financial issues early on can breed resentment, and the longer they remain unaddressed, the greater the potential for misunderstanding. YourChristianDate.com
How often and when will they see each other? Don’t make assumptions about availability. Just because you’ve been seeing each other regularly doesn’t mean this will continue to be the status quo. It is important to consider your work schedules, children and family commitments. Misunderstandings often arise when one partner has not communicated their travel plans or misunderstands the other’s needs for personal time and space.
Be clear about how important this is to both of you. Some couple need time to recharge and get irritated when they can’t spend time alone. It’s unfair to sulk and withdraw when you feel resentful about not having time out. Express this need explicitly and explain that the time you spend apart will be regenerative and positive for you and your relationship.
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Enjoy solving it together
Being in a new relationship does not come with a manual, the beauty lies in discovering and exploring the path together. Don’t expect your new partner to be responsible for anticipating your needs or fully understanding you. If you do, both of you will be disappointed. Help each other understand what is important to both of you.
Being in a healthy relationship allows you to draw on the experience of your past relationships, use the wisdom of what you learned about yourself, and do things differently this time. Enjoy the experience of discovering how to have a relationship together – it’s a unique opportunity to create the kind of beautiful relationship you both dream of!